I was thinking, intently and humbly for once, about the idea that many people have presented to me that I do not love myself, and until I can love/like myself/enjoy my own company, no one else will either.
I have brushed it off by saying.. I know what I'm worth, it's jus tthat nobody bothers to look deep enough.
I tried to think about one thing I truly think is awesome about me.
..... I love my kids more than my own life. But... to be honest, the emotional pain I'm often in IS enough that I've considered leaving them. and I hate myself for that.
I've been told I have pretty eyes. But if I don't have makeup on, I hate every inch of my face.
I'm talented, but it's gotten me nowhere.
I'm smart, but.. it's gotten me nowhere.
I'm strong, but not strong enough.
I HAVE to find one thing I can say I at least like about ME, without the word "but" after it.
.... I.. like.. my ability to not judge. To see all sides of an equation, to walk a mile in another person's shoes.. to feel what they feel and love them unconditionally.
There's one thing.
I intend to do this until I find 30. If I can't find one, please help...